Field Guide To The North American Bikini

Summer’s here, the weather’s heating up, and bikinis are popping up at beaches and pools nationwide. You’re lying to yourself if you think you won’t be staring. And getting caught. But if you didn’t push forward anyway and go for the hook up, you’d have to turn in your Guy Card.

With that in mind, here is your Field Guide to the North American Bikini. Read it. Learn it. So when she says, “What the hell are you looking at?” you can tell her you were just admiring her choice of bandeau top and low cut bottoms with keyhole tie sides. She still might think you’re a jerk. But at least you’re an educated jerk.


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