The 22 Worst Town Names In The World

22. Cockburn, Western Australia
Although this name is often pronounced “Coburn” by those who stand to lose from its awfulness, who actually reads that when they see this word? Oh, how it burns.

21. Twatt, Orkney, Shetland Islands, Scotland
The Shetland Islands, pronounced “Shitland Islands” if you have an accent like mine, make up a happy little area north of Scotland where it’s too cold for trees to grow. I am related to approximately half the population of the Shetland Islands, share a last name with a quarter of them, and can probably trace my ancestry back to Twatt if I try hard enough. The pride!

20. Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu, New Zealand
Locals call this hill in Hawke’s Bay “Taumata” because… Well. Just because.

19. Muff, Ireland
We here at Drivl love puerile humour. They have a town called Muff. Har har har.

18. Looneyville, Texas, United States
Little Looneyville was named for storekeeper John Looney in the early 1870s. But who gives a shit. This is a hilarious name for a town in the state that brought us Dallas, the Bush Twins and Waco. How awkward must that be when you go to college? “Hey guys, my name’s Sue and I’m from Looneyville!”

17. Titty Hill, Sussex, England
Falling squarely into the extensive Stupid Place Names From England category, Titty Hill is probably located just north of…

16. Thong, Kent, England
Which actually is south-east of…

15. Gravesend, Kent, England
Oh, come on, England. Graves End? What a nasty, depressing little name. You could have at least gone all the way with this one and called it Corpse Feet.

14. Wetwang, Yorkshire… yep! England again!
Okay, so I’ll cut England some slack. It’s an old country. You know, if the United States is Google, then England is IBM. Their country is older than fucking dirt. They can’t be blamed for having names that sound funny in 2007. But this is kind of ridiculous. Wetwang? I’m surprised they don’t have towns called Squishy Vagina or Infected Scrotum.

13. Spread Eagle, Wisconsin
If I were mayor of Spread Eagle, I’d be making diplomatic advances towards the city leaders over in Wetwang to form a Sister-City relationship. Or maybe more of a Platonic-Friends-City relationship. After that, we’d just take thing slow and see what happened.

12. Bald Knob, Arkansas, United States
Well, I guess it’s better than Hairy Knob. I assume England already has that one covered.

11. Cockup, Cumbria, England
Cumbria is a county in the very north-west of England. What the backwoods of Alabama are to America is what Cumbria is to Britain. They talk funny up there. Thus, it isn’t thoroughly surprising that they have a town called Cockup. What do you call someone from this place? A Cockupper? Cockupeleite? Cockuppian? Cockupican? I suppose it’s mildly better than Wetwangger.

10. Whiskey Dick Mountain, Washington State, United States
As hard as America tries, it can’t compete with Britain’s high standards. This was a good effort, though. Well done, Washington.

9. Hookersville, West Virginia
Undoubtedly named before “hooker” meant “prostitute who picks men up on street corners,” Hookersville combines two crimes of place-naming. One, a dirty sounding adjective (they couldn’t have chosen “Pleasant”? “Sunny”? “Happy”?) And two, they added “ville” to the end of the town’s name. Affixing “ville” to the end of a town’s name is like dressing your silly little dog in a cardigan and letting him carry his leash around in his mouth. It just makes the poor animal look fucking stupid.

8. Hell, Michigan, United States
The people in this town at least seem to have a good sense of humour about their home’s unfortunate name. Although, I’m sure there’s some midwestern idiots in Hell who get all offended and defensive when the town shows up on lists like this. I’m looking forward to reading their insightful emails and comments.

7. Toad Suck, Arkansas, United States
So that’s what they do down in the big AR.

6. Middelfart, Denmark
I guess it’s not so funny to them, but how do we know that “Seattle” doesn’t mean “Big Fat Stinking Turd” in Danish? That’s right, we don’t. And it probably does.

5. Horneytown, North Carolina, United States
Its proximity to Hookersville, West Virginia is no coincidence. I also assume that, like Hookersville, the naming of Horneytown took place before “horney” meant “aching for a hot piece of ass” with an extra “e”. But I’m starting to wonder why, pride and tradition aside, the townspeople in these little places never saw it fit to change their homes’ names? Do they enjoy being ridiculed by the entire English-speaking world?

4. Shitterton, Dorset, England
I wonder if they bleep out the first part of Shitterton’s name if it’s mentioned on TV in America?

3. Disappointment, Kentucky, United States
Le sigh. Never mind. You live in a small town in Kentucky. At least it was appropriately named.

2. Fucking, Austria
The idiots who live in Fucking, Austria had a vote in 2004 to determine whether or not they should change the town’s name, and you know what they did? They voted against it, preferring instead to put up with international ridicule, numerous stolen road-signs and horrific Google results.

1. Whakapapa
Why is this the worst place name in the world? In Maori, the native language of New Zealand, the “wh” sound is pronounced “f”. Say it aloud in your office and see what happens.

41 Responses to “The 22 Worst Town Names In The World”

  1. vodoinstalater beograd Says:

    I love how your website looks, thanks for the post it was nice read.

    Like

  2. gantt charts Says:

    To the next! Kind regards!

    Like

  3. The 22 Worst Town Names In The World | the best things in life Says:

    Alberto Tuia

    22. Cockburn, Western Australia Although this name is often pronounced

    Like

  4. Rovin Gypsy Says:

    Intercourse Pennsylvania
    Bird in Hand Pennsylvania

    Like

  5. SP13 Says:

    My science teacher lives in Whynot, North Carolina

    Like

  6. Carpe Diem Says:

    Small village in Dorset, England – Kunnt

    Like

  7. meanwhile Says:

    “guess until someone points it out – it is just normal – whatever that is!”

    Normal is in Illinois.

    Like

  8. Evan Says:

    Whakapapa NZ is pronounced fock-a-papa, not fuck-a-papa.

    Like

  9. soloM920 Says:

    A few more British ones to add…

    Upperthong, Netherthong and Thongsbridge are all in West Yorkshire, England.

    Also, not quite as long as the one in New Zealand, but…

    Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

    …on the Isle of Anglesey in Wales surely deserves a mention (I’m surprised it hasn’t had one already). Usually shortened to “Llanfair”, “Llanfairpwllgwyngyll” or “Llanfair PG”.

    Oh, and there’s also a Slaggyford in Northumberland, England.

    Like

  10. Catherine Robilliard Says:

    Shitterton (in Piddle Valley, Dorset) is pronounced Sitterton, so American viewers won’t need the beginning of the name bleeped out.

    Like

  11. J Says:

    I lived not far from Uncertain, Texas.

    Like

  12. cliff Says:

    You might enjoy these:

    http://reallyweirdplacenames.blogspot.com/

    Like

  13. england buy Says:

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    Like

  14. helenbaq Says:

    You missed Lizard Lick, NC and Intercourse Pennsylvania. :)

    Like

  15. Ian on the Hill Says:

    Pratt’s Bottom, Kent, UK.
    ’nuff said.

    Like

  16. Jon Says:

    There’s a town called Fucking in Austria and Zurich airport is situated in the town of Kloten which means : bullocks or balls

    Like

  17. Ray thompson Says:

    I live in Cumbria, England and have never come across a Cockup, BUT..we do have a Cockermouth..

    Like

  18. Larry Bush Says:

    Yeehaw Junction, FL is along the Florida Turnpike. Gotta love it, although I suspect people are happier leaving the junction than coming upon it.

    Like

  19. Mark Hewitt Says:

    There used to be a sub-aquatic training centre in Muff (no. 19). Can you guess what it was called? X-D

    Like

  20. Adam Leyton Says:

    Brilliant list!

    Penistone in South Yorkshire, UK is a personal favourite.

    Like

  21. Dave Says:

    There is a Wangford in Suffolk, England

    Like

  22. Charles Roth Says:

    There are a couple of more that are worth making the list, such as:
    INTERCOURSE, Pennsylvania – BLUEBALL, Pennsylvania – and finally…BIRD-IN-HAND, Pennsylvania. (All in the Amish county of Lancaster, PA

    Like

  23. Paul Says:

    For some reason on similar pages, I never see Humptulips (Washington State). Always loved that one.

    Like

  24. johnoghue Says:

    Satans Kingdom, Vermont

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satans_Kingdom,_Vermont

    Like

  25. Theresa Says:

    OK – here’s one for you – Iron Knob in South Australia! I understand its ummmm….hot there……Google it.

    Like

  26. LOL Says:

    You forgot BANGLADesh. LOL!!!

    Like

  27. Jimmy Says:

    What about Upper Dicker, and Little Dicker in East Sussex, UK? They have to be contenders.

    There’s also Great Snoring, and Little Snoring in Norfolk, UK.

    Like

  28. Loraine Haworth Says:

    hadn’t realised there were quite so many strange named places – guess until someone points it out – it is just normal – whatever that is!

    Like

  29. ponderingplumb Says:

    I’m from 18. Gravesend. It’s actually nothing at all to do with graves:

    The town was recorded as Gravesham in the Domesday Book in 1086 as belonging to Odo, Bishop of Bayeux: the name probably derived from “graaf-ham”: the home of the Reeve, or Bailiff, of the Lord of the Manor. Another theory suggests that the name Gravesham may be a corruption of the words grafs-ham – a place “at the end of the grove”.[1] Frank Carr[2] asserts that the name derives from the Saxon Gerevesend, the end of the authority of the Portreve, (originally Portgereve), the officer in charge of the town. The Domesday spelling is the only historical record; all other spellings – in the later (c1100) Domesday Monarchorum and in Textus Roffensis the town is Gravesend/Gravesende.

    Like

  30. John Says:

    Slaughterville, Oklahoma

    Like

  31. ruinean Says:

    Never underestimate the American power of silly naming, I give you BIG BONE LICK state park in Kentucky, and I swear there was a town not far away named Ash Hole in either KY or OH. Can’t find that with mapping services on the web so maybe they got wise to their really terrible name. Big Bone Lick, just had to be in the state abbreviated KY yes?

    Like

  32. Damo Says:

    You forgot fingringhoe which is south of colchester,england

    Like

  33. rainman99 Says:

    SCUNTHORPE. NUF SED !!

    Like

  34. lefthanded Says:

    I’m surprised that no-one has mentioned Wank, Austria.

    Like

  35. ECBS Says:

    oh and Toquereville Utah

    Like

  36. ECBS Says:

    they forgot Phuket and Bangkok Thailand

    Like

  37. SA Says:

    Don’t forget about Boring, Oregon.
    I do believe they stopped trying in that one.

    Like

  38. SH Says:

    Te Puke, New Zealand

    Waikikamukau, Why-key-cah-moo-koh (pronounced as if saying “Why kick a moo-cow”), is an imaginary small rural town or locality in New Zealand.

    Like

  39. MD Says:

    What About Dildo, Newfoundland, Canada?

    Like

  40. Jeff Says:

    How could you forget Coxsackie, New York?

    Like

  41. Keth Says:

    Guys,

    This page made me cry I laughed so much. 9.36 in the morning with my donut and coffee and I’m falling about the place laughing.

    It was actually my national newspaper that put me on to you – they had a story about the irate townspeople of Muff in Ireland who were angry about being mentioned in your countdown (f**k um!) :http://www.independent.ie/national-news/muff-miffed-over-cheap-shot-in-airlines-tv-ad-1043548.html

    Great great page, and Well done!

    By the way, I come from a town called Navan in Country Meath, Ireland where we have a hill called ‘Nobber Hill…? err… maybe not.

    Cheers!!!

    Keth

    Like

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